to fight or not to fight

I've been in the Maldives for nearly 16 months now. Incidentally, it's the second longest I've ever lived in one place in the 13 years I've lived on my own. (The longest was 3 years and everything else topped out at 3-12 months.) I'm tired. It could be a very pleasant place to live, indeed, the new management seems quite promising. The problem is that there is always something. Miscommunications coupled with misinformation, no information until the last possible second (at which point to give themselves validity they add, "Well, this is not a new decision. Actually, this was decided a year ago." ...which makes it worse since it's something that you could have planned for but at the last minute destroys a lot of your life.)

There is such a continuous lack of respect in the way I and others are treated. Managers should give days off, they shouldn't have to be petitioned for a day off because their employee hasn't had a day off in two months. People shouldn't be required to work from 5am until 11pm or midnight and then return to do it all over again for a month straight. Employees should have some means of relief, something to DO, a way to let off steam or build positive energy. Watching television doesn't count.

It's been 16 months. I've largely given up. I've always been a fighter, but I just don't care anymore. I'll leave at the end of my contract. I'll just wait out the time until then. When I'm punched I'll go to my room, fully expecting to be punched when I venture out again. I don't want to go for a swim. I don't want to talk to anyone about anything. No one knows the truth anyway. Ninety point nine percent of the information on the island is false whether rumor or actual decisions by management, you can't believe anything until it's past and you saw it with your own eyes.

I've had enough. I suppose it's somewhat worse now the I've met a teacher from another island and she's so fully supported by her management. It just showed me that it wasn't necessarily the Maldives: it's here.

Now I just have to wait until the end.

your stained glass looking glass

through your stained glass looking glass
i see myself fragmented into a thousand colors i never knew
i see myself a mother; strong and tender, fiercely protective
i am insightful and care deeply for others
i am not selfish or weak

through your stained glass looking glass
i can run like the wind across entire continents,
cross oceans in an afternoon swim
or soar through the skies,a magical falcon
traveling at the speed of light and imagination

through your stained glass looking glass
i know no limits, hold no fears...except my fear for others and their happiness

through your stained glass looking glass
i see you.
i see you reflected in a thousand shades never seen with the naked eye
i see your blues: saphires cold, dark, alone
your rubies: brilliant fires of passion hidden from view
i see your emeralds: rich with growth and wisdom not yet released

through your stained glass looking glass
i see your fears, hopes and dreams
i see your hidden strength and wisdom
and yes, through your stained glass looking glass
i even see your flaws, for they make you beautiful

through your stained glass looking glass
i see you and i together, joined by the fragmented colors
i see our love reflected in the gems of light
dancing on every surface surrounding us in a rainbow
declaring us mother and daughter, daydreaming children, friends and sisters

we do not diminish, but multiply in a thousand stars of light
through your stained glass looking glass