addendum....

The last entry was written with such a heavy heart that I left out some of the people of Maldives. In fact, most of the Maldivians I know are warm hearted and wonderful people. The ones that have welcomed me into their homes have been so incredible in every way. They welcomed me into their hearts, their homes and their families. They have done everything possible to be sure that I have a good time and bring back good memories of their islands.

These are the ones that I will not only remember, but cherish in my heart forever. Hana, even now is planning my final trip in the Maldives to the southern atoll of Adu. Hana is unusual for a young Maldivian woman. She's not shy, she does not need to be sheltered and lead around by the men. She's strong and full of life with a thirst for fun and adventure. She is a spectacular young woman and I'm honored that she is taking the time and effort to not only plan my trip with Mark, but to come along as our guide and companion. I first bonded with Hana over night swimming. I asked jokingly if she wanted to swim one night and her eyes lit up with that beautiful sparkle I know so well (and miss..times have been hard for her of late), and she said, "Let's go!" A few minutes later we were running and jumping off of the jetty and into the water annoying the sharks. I've loved her ever since.

...my frustrations come from living on such a small island with nothing to entertain the workers, and having so many men and so few women...and most of all from the lack of respect from the current management.

irony...nothing special

I had person after person pop their head into my office today to confirm that tonight was the last English class. To my surprise, it wasn’t just my students, but others as well. The hardest one was, “Tonight is the last class, right?” I looked at him, “Yes.” He said, “Ok, then it’s nothing special tonight, right? Cause I’m going to Male’” I just looked at him and shrugged. “Last class,” I repeated. Nothing special…The results? Well, I had the lowest attendance tonight of any night ever on my second island.

I wonder if anyone ever stopped to think of the message they sent me by not coming even to say goodbye, “Yeah..whatever.” I’ve given two years of my life here. It’s full of the biggest ironies.

1. I worked harder and longer than in any previous jobs and my final General Manager thought it was “That’s ridiculous, what do you work, TWO hours a day??” In fact, for most of my contract I’ve worked 12-14 hours a day, seven days a week. That stopped as soon as he said that. I was furious and completely de-motivated.

2. 2. Using the principles of Howard Gardner’s Multiple Intelligence Theory, I’ve not only incorporated my students’ learning preferences for learning styles, but completely designed and wrote the syllabi and lessons by continually using their feedback and responses to lessons. I made lessons fun and memorable while teaching them a great deal. Results? People complained that my lessons were too much fun. They had expectations that lessons should be serious or they are not legitimate. So…I gave them what they wanted, and then no one wanted to use their off time to come to lessons anymore. They weren’t enough fun to use their off time. (The new lessons were strictly hospitality and job based from course books).

3. I’ve never worked harder (and I’m an extremely hard worker), never consecutively worked such long hours for 2 years, never pushed myself so hard to excel…and I’ve never been appreciated less.

In looking over CVs for my replacement, one candidate said, “I’d like to finally be someplace where I’m appreciated.” I deleted the application without even looking. This is not the place to be appreciated. This is a place to have a thick skin because you are the most forgotten person on the entire island, the current General Manager thinks it’s a pussy fluff job (teaching 200 people 2 lessons a week) and you’re alone most of the time.

I’m glad to finally leave this place where the men out number the women 20 to 1…and there’s only 300 people on 2 islands. Glad to leave this place where everything I do, say, go or buy is noted and told to everyone on the island and finally repeated back to me in a strange “Ah, you did this…” phone call as if it’s important to remind me that I’m being watched all the time.

I’m sorry to leave this place where the rain is so beautiful and warm on my face…where the sea is crystal clear and the sea creatures are not shy; sad to leave this place where I can ride the boats in the very tip of the stern with the wind on my face and running through my hair and fingertips as if I’m flying. Happy to leave this place which is so like a beautiful cage; lamenting leave this place that is like a living dream or a beautiful (if simple) painting.

I want to feel sad because I’m leaving…but I mostly feel sad because I’ve given so much and received so little.

my dreams of maldives...

When people dream of the Maldives they think only of days filled with sun, sand and sea. They see themselves relaxing luxuriously sipping cocktails while tanning on lounge chairs in the sun.

I think they miss the best part. Anywhere (outside of England) can be sunny. There are beaches on nearly every coastline in the world (admittedly, my beach here is the best, although there are some lovely ones in New Zealand). For me the truly special part of the Maldives, the part that I will miss in my soul is the night.

On moonless nights the stars fill the sky and the milkyway is so thick that it brings to mind a trail of salt from an overturned shaker. Even without knowing the constellations you could play "connect the stars" and make up your own for hours on end. My favorite "constellation" is a stingray. Now, if you've studied astronomy you may be objecting as you read this...but if you just lived here and looked into the sky you'd see many such familiar sea creatures. Bears and hunters don't exist here and so would n ever be seen in the sky...sharks, rays, puffer fish and even the odd chicken would light up your sky. Perhaps if you were lucky you'd see a school of tuna to lead you to your evening's catch.

On moonless nights the water sparkles with its own stars: biophosphorescent plankton. When in a boat, look down at the water that is displaced as you cut through the water...it sparkles like diamonds with its own light. If you take a stroll along the beach the waves bring these "stars" to the shore and the shoreline appears have been dusted with fairy dust. Swim, and every move you make is lit up as if you are swimming amongst the stars. Upon leaving the water, don't be surprised to find yourself aglow.

Then there's the moon...
If you were inclined to write sonnets and love songs the moon in its many phases could easily provide all inspiration. The new moon is like a shy but incredibly beautiful veiled muslim woman. You can see nothing through her black veils save a small crescent that reveals her eyes...but oh, those eyes! That small glimpse of beauty fills the soul with song, lures men to their deaths and enslaves their hearts! As the moon slowling, tauntingly reveals herself each passing night, it reminds me of the "dance of the seven veils", so full of love, romance and yes, eroticism and beauty that it risks being forbidden. Indeed, there are many that flee to their beds without daring to cast their faces to its unearthly light.

Tonight she rose full...sensuously, curvaciously, lusciously golden over the horizon of a calm sea. As she rose higher she threw off her golden robes for her pale nightdress, shining like purity incarnate over the luminescent waters below. Her purity is her strength and her brightness lights the world below like the ghost of day. The stars pale in comparison and are lost in her glory. She gathers strength and leaves a beautiful silvery path to the heavens glistening like moonstones and diamonds...a trail that surely leads the way to heaven if only one could traverse its length before morning.

Bathing everything in richly in her pearly glow and yet taking nothing but sand as her due. The ocean rises to her call and steals away our silky white sand in her homage. How can one regret such a small payment for such beauty?

Yes, I will miss these nights. I will miss sitting on the open stern of a boat, feet dangling over the water as I sail through the night.