jueves, abril 27, 2006

shocking...shocking...

Alright, this is sort of random and I'm a little tipsy after only a glass and a half of wine because I've not been drinking much lately, but a few things really grabbed my notice during the course of my job tonight.

First of all: I've been bloody hot since coming back to the Maldives. It's been really dreadful and I felt like a sissy until I found out that the guys here have been tortured the last week or so as well and nobody is sleeping. The day I came back, aside from being drenched in an unpleasant humidity/sweat combination as I waited 7 hours for a boat back to the island (that wasn't that rough...I spent the entire time in the airport hotel bar sipping cocktails next to the pool), I developed the worst heat rash I've had in a year before I'd even landed on my island.

Two: I had gained just over 2 kilos since coming to the Maldives. I wasn't fat, but had definite love handles and was less than thrilled at being told all the time by the charming locals, "Wow. Now you are too fat." At one point I nearly threw someone out of my classroom for saying it (he felt REALLY sorry and baffled when I told him that either he stopped saying that or he could leave...he didn't see what was wrong with saying it.) About four weeks ago, I began working out and I lost 2 kilos in two weeks. Then I went to India and after some initial problems with diarhea followed by medication, I began to fill out because I simply wasn't able to "go" for a week. To my great surprise, after I came back I spent much of the first two days in the toilet "ridding" myself of all traces of India and I've lost another kilo. This means uniform problems...the only pair of clean uniform trousers I had are now so loose on me that they are like super low Brasilian cut...and that's not appropriate for class. So tonight I wore a pair of white trousers which look like a skirt. They were still very saggy and nearly falling off, but at least they wouldn't fall off completely. The results? Well, I had five guys tonight tell me, "Wow. Your face looks like very fat." I made a face at them and said, "No, I've lost weight and my clothes are just too big." They replied, "Wow. You are getting very skinny...but your face looks very fat." Go figure...I'm skinnier than they've ever seen me and they are still compelled to tell me that one part of me looks fat.

sigh...you can't win with Asians. I will always be "big fat westerner" despite that in western countries I'm an enviable size and always have been even in my "fat" stages.

Third topic to rave about for the night: I'm looking through CV's and cover letters for my position. I'm truly shocked at the stuff sent to me. Although I was on holiday and missed the majority of applications so far, I've still received at least a hundred and am apalled by what people send.

First off, people have tremendous amounts of degrees and and experience and they send me an email with several paragraphs explaining that they've attached a cover letter and their CV!! Why on EARTH would I waste my time reading TWO letters from them? Depending on how interesting and personal their first one was, I might look at their second, but if their second cover letter is two pages long it's in the bin. These people are obviously not efficient and will waste countless hours saying nothing at all. Bin.

Secondly: people don't really look at what they send. One guy sent me an 8 page attached cover letter with a 21 page CV. Don't ask me why I looked more closely, but I did and discovered that his CV was an extremely bad scan of his hard copy which fit in slightly less than 1/4 of each page that he sent me. Needless to say, I didn't look further. Not efficient and no attention to detail equals waste of time. It was in the bin.

Thirdly: people write generic cover letters. "Dear Sir/Madam..." I gave my name and don't take points away from their assumming I'm Mr. or Ms., "I am writing in response to the ad for a teaching position with your school on TEFL.COM." Now, in my ad I specifically said that it's teaching for a resort and not a school. First sentence and it's in the bin. I know that they aren't right. This is a very special position and takes a special person. Bin.

Tonight I received the funniest one of all. Although the ad specifically stated that it was teaching for two resorts and was not any easy job and required a minimum of two years' experience, I got a response telling me that she was perfect for the position although she had no formal teaching experience or qualifications, but she had tutored her young cousins in English through their primary school years! I laughed outloud, skimmed her CV and then threw it in the bin.

A good applicant? Well, although less qualified than some of his "bin mates," he made it into the possibility folder because he at least said that he'd like the opportunity to work in our hotel. This let me know that at least he'd read the ad before applying. Further, he had enough experience for consideration and I was even willing to overlook the odd admission about his level of Thai language:
Reading ability: None
Speaking ability: None
Writing ability: None
Native speaker? Yes
Simultaneously translate? No

It fascinates me how he can have no reading, writing or speaking ability and yet be a native speaker...
He's in the "we'll contact you" folder. A small mistake is more easily overlooked than something that shows they obviously didn't even read the ad. I doubt he'll make the overall cut, but he passed the first step and people much more qualified than he didn't get that far.

I suppose that's about it. My laptop battery is running out of juice anyway :-) I hope that no one reading this makes the same mistakes when sending out their CVs and I hope that no one feels compelled to call anyone else fat; it's just not nice.

May you all dream of a night as beautiful as the one I am experiencing, sitting on this silky white beach, the waves softly lapping against the shore, wind rustling the palm trees and the inky black sky filled with stars.

miércoles, abril 26, 2006

india...


India...the only place I've been in the world where beggars not only refuse food, but will argue with you and insist that you give them more money if you give them anything at all.

Everyone, no matter what their contact with you was, insists on a tip and then tells you that the amount is insulting and you must give them more. To change money they want a copy of your passport and your ticket, then forms must be filled out in triplicate. The thoroughness of the English colonial beaurocratic paper trail is followed as if it were God's own writ.

No one seems to tell the truth except as they can at an angle that involves you buying something. Everyone insists that everyone else is a liar and they are the only ones that will take care of you honestly. Even my lovely holiday package which was arranged by the government tourist board of India had the overtone of having been had. At many turns I saw the shortcuts he (the guy who made the package) had taken in order to extract the most money for the least output. Yes, I found India disagreeable, but not for the reasons that I thought I would.

I used to wash my clothes in an Indian laundry mat and the body odor from the Indians was tearjerking and the air unbreathable. I had to stand outside rain, sleet or shine while waiting for my loads, then take a deep breath and hope that I would be able to finish the load before needing another. My next experience was with an Indian classmate who was extremely pretty but had a rather shocking body odor that filled the room within moments of her entering. Years have passed and I've had a number of Indian students, many of whom have had rather distinctive odors. These experiences combined left me with the impression that at least the impoverished masses and lower classes would be quite rank, this however was quite thankfully not the case despite the heat.

Despite it's being disagreeable to my sensibilities, it's undeniable that India has it's appeal. The young women are phenomenally beautiful, especially when wearing the traidtional brightly colored saris. If you are interested in photographing people, India is probably the best country in the world. Each face has a riveting mystery to reveal and the contrast between the brightly colored costumes and the dirty, dusty surroundings cannot help but capture you.

Further, if you are a birdwatcher, India is heaven with more than 1200 species of birds nad many national parks. Few countries in the world have such diverse wildlife that is so easily accessible by (relatively) cheap day safaris.

If you like trekking, the Himalayas are probably in your top five dream destinations. There are treks for all levels of fitness by horseback or on foot, or combinations of the two. You can camp, stay with gypsies or do the whole thing in style in a first class resort.

Then there's the architecture. The Taj Mahal is of course the most famous structure and the worlds greatest monument to love The symmetry is perfect, the design genius and the workmanship is awe inspiring. Foreigners pay a hefty 750 Rupees (about 15 euros) to enter, but Indians only pay 20 Rupees (about 40 centimos). Personally, I was quite happy to see so many Indians there. Too many countries have made their national treasures too expensive for their own people to see. Aside from the Taj Mahal, there are countless forts and palaces that are phantom reminders of a time of powerful maharajas with rich kingdoms filled with exotic harems, elephants and camels. Although the jewels were taken long ago by the English, one can still see the spaces that once held large rubies, emeralds and other precious and semi-precious stones while imagining the splendours that once were.

Today, little remains of the past glories where dirty half-naked children play amidst the litter strewn rubble

Yet, it's never perfection which inspires the imagination. The Taj Mahal is perfect in every way, there is no need to imagine anything. In the old palaces though, the imagination runs wild and free. What must it have been like to have a harem of 300 women from countries all over the world? Did they fight amongst themselves for favor? How many were stolen and sold into the harem? Did people cheer on the executions (death by elephant crushing) like they did in medieval Europe? A writer in need of inspiration need only sit quietly amongst the half-ruins of an ancient palace for tales of adventure and romance to find their way through the hand to the paper.


Kashmir was the crown jewel for me. Aside from the breathtaking Himalayan landscape of mountains, forestss, glaciers and rivers; the people wer amazing to see. The gypsies walk barefoot in the house despite the temperature being only 5-10 C, and wear only thin shoes up the mountains even in snow storms. They seem to not feel the cold.

The men all wear long duster coats like the mountain freedom fighters that you see on TV from Pakistan, Afghanistan and other nearby countries. Many of the women wear burkas (the complete veil that covers even the eyes), but it's not required. the mountains are an amazing place to grow up. The children laugh and play the day away. There is a haunting quality about them, a beauty despite their rough clothes and dirt covered skin.